六个月的时间，我用了一个自己认为完美的结局来结束这漫长的过程。它好像光，不留痕迹，“咻”一声不见了。
24小时前的主题：“孩童的心”把我唤醒了。当我坐下沉思时，到底六个月里所做的是不是“枉然”，最初的爱心和单纯的心，你们还在吗？在祷告里，我开始体会“细拉”的含义，发觉这一次的感觉焕然一新。三个月流荡和沉溺于教会工作，我好像蛹，花了很长时间，经过挣扎、包裹、蜕变，什么是打入我心的？肯定的，我多了一份感动，何等感恩我坚持到最后了，没有放弃那起初的约定。亲爱的天父，我从来没忘踏出回应呼召的那天，只是我还在寻找肯定，等我吧！让我变得更完整出现在你面前，现在的我实在还不能。。
讲讲到底从二月到现在的一些点滴吧！
小组，永远是我的梦想启动处。曾经以为不能的、不可爱的、最微小的，偏偏神就是爱这班人。何等荣耀的恩宠，从以前一盘散沙的5-6只猫，到现在16只风雨不改都报到的猫，完全是你的工作。从别人眼中最难，到我亲身经历，我相信我的等待没有白费。他帮我关了一道门，却还是开启了一道更宽敞的门给我。当别人辛苦追号码，我却坐享上帝的恩典，人数的增长，组员灵命的增长。
心态的转变，让计划开始有了变化。“马马虎虎”要从我生命中出去。一个月的挑战过去了，她没有告诉我到底我达成了吗？但是答案不再重要，因为我开始寻觅到那宝藏了，一直潜在我心里，没有说出来的。我传了让她流泪的简讯，我说“你是给我最多难熬的时间，但是却让我成长最快的”。感谢神，我的心要安稳，等待每次你向我说话的时间。
赞美敬拜，终于完成进入“上好的福分”——带了生平第一次聚会里的敬拜，阿爸父神垂听我的祷告。跟我在祷告里看见的接近了，让我觉得其实梦想不是那么远。神的工作，让我在困难中学习定睛仰望他，不再只是说说而已。原来一个人的生命神能够透过他带出极大的果效，成为别人的祝福。
太多了。。说不完。简单来说，尽心、尽性、尽意和尽力爱主我的神，那就是我的追求了。丛然过程虽然不顺心，但是确实让他来调整我的好机会。单单来爱你。。。
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
beh tahan 的关心
一次的提醒，那叫关心
两次的提醒，那叫劝导
三次的提醒，那叫唠叨~~
啊~~有时候希望人的口可以小一点，所发出的声音少一点。。。
下johor,给人问了不上十次；回到kl,又是一样的问题。。都跟你说刚刚好，你还一直问，有点不会做人咯~~ 更好笑，3.89的人问我如何进入大学/如何申请奖学金/如何填写表格。。我的天~~ 果然，上帝是很公平的。感谢神，至少证明我不笨！！！ 我家的，一封信，讲了3月中之前会汇寄出去，一天问了5次，搞笑咯。。
感谢神，身边太多的瞩目。。不过，可以拿掉一点吗？？ 让我唯一一天的休假静静好吗？？？
两次的提醒，那叫劝导
三次的提醒，那叫唠叨~~
啊~~有时候希望人的口可以小一点，所发出的声音少一点。。。
下johor,给人问了不上十次；回到kl,又是一样的问题。。都跟你说刚刚好，你还一直问，有点不会做人咯~~ 更好笑，3.89的人问我如何进入大学/如何申请奖学金/如何填写表格。。我的天~~ 果然，上帝是很公平的。感谢神，至少证明我不笨！！！ 我家的，一封信，讲了3月中之前会汇寄出去，一天问了5次，搞笑咯。。
感谢神，身边太多的瞩目。。不过，可以拿掉一点吗？？ 让我唯一一天的休假静静好吗？？？
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Growing
成长是个过程
我生命的路刚刚才开始
抛开所有的思想的缠累
断开所有的枷锁
我要一个全新的自己
不再情绪化
不再自怜怜人
不再轻易动摇
一个让人可以信任
一个讨我神的喜悦
一个不再成为别人负担
当然，这个过程很像毛虫蜕变成蝴蝶，很痛、很辛苦、很考耐力，但是我还是想尝试，看看蜕变后的自己，会不会变得格外不一样。。
我生命的路刚刚才开始
抛开所有的思想的缠累
断开所有的枷锁
我要一个全新的自己
不再情绪化
不再自怜怜人
不再轻易动摇
一个让人可以信任
一个讨我神的喜悦
一个不再成为别人负担
当然，这个过程很像毛虫蜕变成蝴蝶，很痛、很辛苦、很考耐力，但是我还是想尝试，看看蜕变后的自己，会不会变得格外不一样。。
breakthrough
Yes i need it..
It might be really tough and difficult, especially it comes to trials and making decisions, fulfilling task...but I trust in You!
Life is hard, but walk wif u everything become easy~~
Guide my way,refuge my strength when i need to be transfomed..
I am enough wif it, God your are dream maker..
The only one who knows my way
The only one who can accompany me throughout the journey
The only one who can understand my feelings completely..
Father, thank you..
By your mercy i am able to enjoy the privilage as Your beloved daughter
By your grace i am able to serve You in the house
Because of you the blind can see
Because of you heaven knows my name
Because of you my life has found a home
So grateful when seeing all comments and encouragements from dearest leaders and frens..special thank to pastor for sharing his own experience in uni life..appreciate the two big sisters in my life currently for giving advice and help doing research for me..dear angel jeen and winzee, really proud of you guys after realised STPM really a high standard exam.. thx to all seniors and frens who concern about my exam..thx to neh also who purposely send regards from nus in singapore...
Big big thanks to my dear LORD who sent so many angels in my life to guide and help me throughout the difficult time..
NOW, the 1 month plan started...
What would be the first day and the final day differences..
i can't wait to see it and feel it personally..
Neither by my own strength nor intelligence, You are the one who make changes..
It might be really tough and difficult, especially it comes to trials and making decisions, fulfilling task...but I trust in You!
Life is hard, but walk wif u everything become easy~~
Guide my way,refuge my strength when i need to be transfomed..
I am enough wif it, God your are dream maker..
The only one who knows my way
The only one who can accompany me throughout the journey
The only one who can understand my feelings completely..
Father, thank you..
By your mercy i am able to enjoy the privilage as Your beloved daughter
By your grace i am able to serve You in the house
Because of you the blind can see
Because of you heaven knows my name
Because of you my life has found a home
So grateful when seeing all comments and encouragements from dearest leaders and frens..special thank to pastor for sharing his own experience in uni life..appreciate the two big sisters in my life currently for giving advice and help doing research for me..dear angel jeen and winzee, really proud of you guys after realised STPM really a high standard exam.. thx to all seniors and frens who concern about my exam..thx to neh also who purposely send regards from nus in singapore...
Big big thanks to my dear LORD who sent so many angels in my life to guide and help me throughout the difficult time..
NOW, the 1 month plan started...
What would be the first day and the final day differences..
i can't wait to see it and feel it personally..
Neither by my own strength nor intelligence, You are the one who make changes..
Monday, February 21, 2011
Someday
Song by : IU
Title : Someday
I hope this tears will stop running someday
Someday after this darkness clear up
I hope the warm sunshine dries these tears
When I feel that I'm getting tired of looking me exhausted
I want to give all my dreams I've kept hard
Every time I feel that I'm lacking in many things more than I have
I lost strength in my legs and drop down
I hope this tears will stop running someday
Someday after this darkness clear up
I hope the warm sunshine dries these tears
Everyday I hold out comforting myself "it'll be alright"
But it makes me afraid little by little
I tell myself to believe in myself, but I don't
Now I don't know how longer I can hold out
But wait it'll come
Although the night is long, the sun comes up
Someday my painful heart will get well
I hope it helps me now
I hope the God will help me
I don't have enough confidence more and more to overcome myself
I hope this tears will stop running someday
Someday after this darkness clear up
I hope the warm sunshine dries these tears
But wait it'll come
Although the night is long, the sun comes up
Someday my painful heart will get well
Someday...
Someday...
Title : Someday
I hope this tears will stop running someday
Someday after this darkness clear up
I hope the warm sunshine dries these tears
When I feel that I'm getting tired of looking me exhausted
I want to give all my dreams I've kept hard
Every time I feel that I'm lacking in many things more than I have
I lost strength in my legs and drop down
I hope this tears will stop running someday
Someday after this darkness clear up
I hope the warm sunshine dries these tears
Everyday I hold out comforting myself "it'll be alright"
But it makes me afraid little by little
I tell myself to believe in myself, but I don't
Now I don't know how longer I can hold out
But wait it'll come
Although the night is long, the sun comes up
Someday my painful heart will get well
I hope it helps me now
I hope the God will help me
I don't have enough confidence more and more to overcome myself
I hope this tears will stop running someday
Someday after this darkness clear up
I hope the warm sunshine dries these tears
But wait it'll come
Although the night is long, the sun comes up
Someday my painful heart will get well
Someday...
Someday...
Leave me alone
JUST...leave me alone..
no matter how, i have to face this myself...
Ya God u make it real for wat i pray for...
but seems like i dun satisfied of it..
Pls take all those As comments away..it is like a knife hurting me..
Now is the time
For me to settle down and think carefully..
Teachers:"you can get de, but dun apply penisular.."
That means i have to leave Selangor,frens, family, even church.....
plan...................................................................
no matter how, i have to face this myself...
Ya God u make it real for wat i pray for...
but seems like i dun satisfied of it..
Pls take all those As comments away..it is like a knife hurting me..
Now is the time
For me to settle down and think carefully..
Teachers:"you can get de, but dun apply penisular.."
That means i have to leave Selangor,frens, family, even church.....
plan...................................................................
Thursday, February 17, 2011
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